I don’t want to be the one who shatters this sacred myth but I believe that Santa Claus is a “she”. Think about it! Christmas is a big social reunion, well organized, warm and light and I find it hard to believe that a man could do such things!
To begin the most men don’t even think about choosing a present until New Year’s Eve. Once arrived to the mall they appear almost all the time surprised to discover only second hand products, tubular keys and plastic rings left on the shelves. Just because of that I’m sure that Santa is a woman.
Certainly if I were a man all the people on Earth would wake up on Christmas day finding under the fir a musical box , still in the paper bag.
Another problem of the Santa Claus man is the transport. Firstly there wouldn’t be any reindeer because they would all be dead , ripped and tied on the protection bar of the sleigh ,with the eyes half opened ,reading the desperate reproaches that the deer hunting season has extended. Even though the Santa man would still have reindeers they would also have orientation problems and would get lost not knowing which way to go up there in the clouds and to finally refuse to stop and ask for help.
Other reasons why Santa Claus can’t be a man:
- Men can’t pack the presents;
- Men would rather die than to dress in red velvet;
- Men would their masculinity threatened… if they had to be seen next to all these elves;
- Men don’t answer the letters;
- Men wouldn’t allow their body to be compared even in a joke with a “bowl full of jelly”;
- Men are not interested in socks unless someone is wearing them;
- If they had to say “Ho! Ho! Ho!” it would seriously damage their ability to accost;
- Finally to be responsible with Christmas would mean taking a commitment;
I can believe that other legendary characters are men:
- Santa Noel appears once a year unshaved and with an insipid look. Definitely a man;
- Cupid flies carrying weapons;
- Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers;
Any of these persons could pass the testosterone test BUT NOT Santa Claus!
